Posted by Dave on December 15, 2003 at 23:07:52:
In Reply to: TubaChristmas Top 10 List posted by Kenneth Sloan on December 15, 2003 at 09:24:05:
Others would include:
1. Brag to other participants around you how great your horn is. Make sure you recite to them every single feature on the horn, where you got it, when it was made, who owned it before you(if used), blah, blah blah...(although if asked you could not successfully tell anybody all your kids' full names and birthdates).
2. Forget your music stand. Beg the person next to you to share. Whine the whole time about how you can't see the music and how the stand needs to be adjusted.
3. Although you are not actually a tuba player, borrow one from a friend and show up anyway. Look and sound like an inept moron the entire concert.
4. Pay no attention to the conductor when he makes changes in a piece(no repeats, don't play here, etc.). Do exactly what you were instructed not to during the concert.
5. Show up early for rehearsal, and play your marching band stands tunes as loudly and raucously as humanly possible. Everybody there wants to hear your rendition of "Ironman"!
6. During the optional march section of "Jingle Bells, when you have the theme, play with the most ungodly, blattiest sound possible.
7. Arrive early, find the conductor, kiss as much ass as you can.
8. During the concert, leave your cell phone on. Be sure to set a Christmas tune for your ring, so at least maybe it will be the same song you're playing when it rings!
9. Be sure to sit in the front row of tubas with your bell-front recording bass. Block as many players as possible from seeing the conductor.
10. Whine about how everyone is playing too loud, about how everyone wants to be a soloist, how it doesn't sound musical, etc.