Posted by David Zerkel on February 09, 2004 at 16:32:06:
In Reply to: I have a confession. I HATE TO TEACH posted by Sean Chisham on February 09, 2004 at 00:28:08:
The reason that I left the same band that Sean is playing in is that I didn't feel as though I was doing anything fulfilling with my life that helped others in a meaningful way. I do understand that the work that we did in the Ceremonial Band was indeed meaningful to some who observed what we did, and I in no way mean to denegrate the mission of the band. But the amount of personal satisfaction that I derived from playing hymns and standing very very still was indeed minimal.
So, as I approached early mid-life, I began to think about the people who have inspired me in my lifetime; and they were my teachers, specifically Dave Bragunier, David Fedderly and Ed Livingston. Without the guidance of these guys, I never would have amounted to much of a musician. So, in an effort to do something that I felt would contribute something to society (as minimal as it may seem) and give my life a more meaningful endeavor to explore, I started teaching at the university level.
No matter how much I have improved or will improve as a player, I can guarantee that I will never be satisfied with my performances. Really high standards are a double edged sword--while they help you to improve by never allowing yourself to accept anything less than perfect, they are frustrating because you are never satisfied with what you've done. I walked off stage of my last performance feeling great about what had just happened, only to listen to the CD and be disgusted that I couldn't live up to the standard that I had set. Very frustrating!
Teaching, however, is different. Even though I don't see immediate progress in my students in the course of every lesson, I can definitely see vast amounts of progress over time. One of the most satisfying feelings that I can get as a teacher is when a student can clearly do something A LOT better than I can. This happens a lot! I am always amazed that my guys can do what thay can at such a tender age... it's very humbling and inspires me to work harder!
The paradigm that I set up in the studio for those who wish to make a living playing the horn is this: "I am your competition. You better be able to play me under the table if you want to work." I have had two fistfuls of students that I feel met that challenge and they play really really well. The pride that I feel as a teacher each time one of my students accomplishes something significant or sound incredible as a section in a wind ensemble concert is palpable. I get more satisfaction out of their successes than I do my frustratingly inadequate performances.
Even after a scintillating performance playing with the greatest orchestra, the tangible value of that moment has left 98 percent of the audience within an hour of the concert. The work that one does as a teacher is permanent and has real value to the student that will last a lifetime.
I do love to perform, despite its frustrations! But teaching leaves me feeling fulfilled ina way that performing cannot.