Posted by Rick Denney on December 04, 2001 at 16:13:33:
In Reply to: Re: Negative thoughts - help! posted by Joe Baker on December 03, 2001 at 20:28:13:
Some dreams gel into goals, but others are fantasies rather than dreams. We almost enjoy them more as fantasies than as achievements. And some achievements turn out to be bigger than the fantasies.
I have dreamed of quitting work, and packing my large-format camera in the back of the car and hitting the dusty trail, as they say. Be the next Ansel Adams. This is a fantasy, because if I actually did it, I'd abandon things that aren't dreams but that are much more important to me.
Sometimes the dream comes true, and you wonder why you wanted it. I have snorkeled on the Great Barrier Reef, but spent the whole time seasick. I have driven a large share of Route 66, even some stretches that no longer exist, and it didn't seem so romantic at the time. I have wandered around in the desert with the view camera for longer times than most folks can, but the results didn't quite measure up to the dream.
But sometimes the results are too big for any dream. For most of my adult life, I was overweight and unfit. Then, I decided (as opposed to fantasizing about) to lose weight. That turned into cycling again, which turned into running, which turned into swimming, which escalated and eventually turned into completing an Ironman triathlon. That process involved no dream, and no fantasy, but just the will to put one foot in front of the other and to not stop. But beware--when you get to the end, the view may not be what you expect.
I enjoy playing the orchestral exerpts, even though most of them defeat me. In the privacy of my basement, with the stereo providing accompaniment, I can play along, badly but without stress--just for the joy of it. In a real orchestra, the experience would likely be more frightening than joyful!
So, for John Tuba, achievement takes more than a dream. It takes a plan, so that the dream gels into a coherent, achievable process. Sometimes the process results from step-wise achievement without a plan, like my Ironman finish. But either the plan or each component step gets broken down into specific, attainable goals. This is what Steve means by counting the cost. If it loses its desirability when it's forced into the concrete, then maybe it should be kept as a fantasy.
Some musicians are meant to be professionals--for them the dream is less real and less satisfying than the concrete steps that will achieve it. Others are meant to be amateurs, where playing the Big Gig is a happy fantasy that causes no real heartache when it isn't achieved, and where playing in a community band provides as much or more real satisfaction.
Rick "thinking a lot about dreams and achievement these days" Denney