Posted by Joe Baker on December 05, 2001 at 09:14:50:
In Reply to: Re: Re: Negative thoughts - help! posted by Rick Denney on December 04, 2001 at 16:13:33:
Maybe 'dream' is not a useful word. It is too nebulous to really mean anything. Maybe we should talk about fantasies on the one extreme, plans on the other, and vision somewhere in the middle.
Since parenthood is most of what my life has been about for the last 15 years and what it will be about for the next 10, let's talk about that. When I found out I was going to be a Dad, I had fantasies (my child would be the smartest, best looking, best athlete, and I would be Dad of the century), I had vision (I would need to provide a warm place to live, spend time teaching and playing with my progeny, teach my child virtues) and plans (buy a baby bed, child-proof the house, trade in my Mustang GT for a family sedan). The vision is a way to get myself as close as possible to the fantasy. Maybe the fantasy will be realised, maybe not, and I know that going in; but implementing the vision is under my control. The plans are the specific steps, as far ahead as I can clearly see and reach, for implementing that vision. As time goes by, the plans continuously evolve.
That fantasy is what I was referring to as the dream, and it is analogous to playing tuba in the CSO. The vision would be to have a beautiful tone, brilliant technique, and an unsurpassed sense of musical context. The plan is to practice, get your degree, practice, take any gig you can get, practice, listen to great orchestras, practice, read 'Song and Wind' a zillion times, and practice. The plan is what makes things happen, but the fantasy has power in that it motivates us to carry out the plan.
Sometimes, the 'fantasy' is so practical that as we near it we realize that we can surpass it. I think this was what happened with your weight-loss cum iron-man situation. You had the fantasy -- get the weight off -- the vision -- eat better, exercise more -- and the plan -- chunk the HoHos and oil up the bike. As you were reaching the fantasy of fitness, you adjusted the fantasy.
My point, then, is that we should have numerous fantasies, some more urgent and more reachable than others.
Joe Baker, who could talk about this stuff all day, but whose boss probably wouldn't understand.